Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Why we do what we do...balance in the reality of surviving Cancer



There is nothing easy about filmmaking but for some creative artists that I'm lucky enough to work with time and time again, it's the most natural thing in the world. To find a script that ignites your creativity to where it's not longer work to visual the words on the page. To have a piece that attracts talent, willing to work for less than they should, on both sides of the camera. To go without sleep for days at a time, riding on the high of what you can all create together. It's this strange combination of intention and will and synchronicity.

Right now, it's the lack of sleep thing that is challenging my balance moving towards my second year of being a Survivor. I've actually been able to do something extraordinary lately and that's not stressing about things that don't warrant it. Not an easy task when you are fundraising... and let me say this about fundraising: in so many ways, it keeps you going because everyone lets you know how much they believe in you and your work, the concept and all the talent you are able to surround yourself with.

The other side: not for the faint of heart in any way shape or form. For this amazing little script that had gotten me by the creative tail also has 3 elements that you really don't want in a low budget short film: a firetruck, a highway wall... and the biggest red flag for any script... a baby.

And of course, those elements are some of the most important in the script, so they can't be cut. These are the things that are getting me up at 5 am each morning to find, to permit, to audition... and ultimately to realize for our film.

So what do I do now to keep balance in the crazy landscape of film now? Being transparent about what I can and cannot do, finding amazing people to help in every way rather than thinking I have to do it all myself. Being open to the creative flow and being able to keep perspective that all this is to serve story telling, which I think is still one of the most important windows into human behavior and our shared consciousness.

Why do I do what I do? Because of the late nights when a script comes into my consciousness and plays out, shot by shot. Because of being able to work with actors take the words and the notes and then come up with some read or movement that is far beyond what you could ever imagined. It's also that I know that this project has a life beyond the screen... I'm so excited to work with people all over the country to help raise money for such an important cause as women and children at risk in domestic violence.

So, I sleep when I can.I do the best to keep my balance because I will always remember that there was a time when I wasn't sure I would ever be on a set again... let alone making something like this short film. Sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do. 

What is keeping me up at night? Check out here our teaser video below and see:

www.indiegogo.com/appleseeds   
www.duendefilmswest.com

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